Bros before Hoes
Chapter 1: A brilliant plan
It was a warm sunny day in the vast sea of the Grand Line. There wasn't any ship in sight. Only a yellow submarine, decorated with the Jolly Roger of a pirate crew on it's side, sailing over the calm sea.
On deck were two men, sitting limply leaned against the railing. Both wore a white jumpsuit with the symbol of their crew on the left side of their chest, directly over their heart, and both had black boots on their feet. The only things, that set the two men apart from each other, were their hats. One of them was wearing a dark blue, almost black hat with a yellow brim and the word "Penguin" written on it. Thanks to that hat, being pulled deep down his face, one could not see his eyes. Only a few black short strands of hair flashed from under said hat. The other had a mint green balloon hat with a red brim, red-brown hair, standing up slightly to the sides, and he was wearing black, oblong sunglasses that hid his eyes from the prying vision of other people.
A dark, almost frightening aura, emanated from them. Ignorant people would describe them as dangerous, but their comrades knew better. The two were simply depressed again.
"Oi, Penguin", sounded the quiet voice of the man with the balloon hat, breaking through the silence that had prevailed.
"Ah?", came the short and crisp, a question resembling, answer, from his comrade, called "Penguin".
"I don't want to end as an old spinster...!" The young man called Shachi lamented.
"Shachi, shut up!" Penguin couldn't listen to the whining of his best friend anymore. It was always the same stuff.
"You speak well, dude! You already picked up one or two women. When is it my turn? I finally want to conclude too!" The offended Shachi crossed his arms in front of his chest and puffed out his cheeks.
A sigh escaped Penguin's throat. Feeling a little stressed out, he pulled his hat deeper down his face, using only one hand, and started thinking. It was right, he already was the lucky one and had disappeared with a woman into a hotel room while the crew got boozed up in a bar. He lost his innocence a long time ago. However, Shachi wasn't this lucky. Regardless of what he did or tried, he didn't end up with a woman. What didn't mean that Penguin wasn't also dissatisfied with his non existent love life.
Back then, when they set sail and became pirates, they had expected an somewhat different life. Since then, a few months had passed by. For both of them, it felt like years had already gone by.
"Calm down! I don't want to end up alone too, because then the only one left for me would be you..." Penguin didn't want to elaborate this thought any further. No, he didn't like men. At least not in that matter.
"What? That sounds like that happening would be actually bad?! Idiot!" Shachi stood up furiously and was about to punch and slap him for this comment.
"Think about it! You are a man, I am a man. I don't wanna imagine that. Besides, sometime in the future, I want to also have children." It was pretty obvious that this couldn't work. Right at this moment, while uttering these words, he got a brilliant idea. A mischievous grin that couldn't bode well, appeared on his face.
"Why... are you grinning like that, Peng?" Shachi was less than thrilled by this look. Unknowingly, he moved backwards. Now he actually was frightened. He swallowed the lump, suddenly building up in his throat, and didn't let Penguin out of his sight for all the time.
"I have a brilliant idea how we can solve both our problems." Penguin started to let Shachi know about his idea. Why only did Shachi have a dull feeling, that he didn't want to hear this idea at all?
"And that... would be?" Without thinking, he spoke and in the next moment, he wanted to slap himself for being so curious.
"We make you a woman!"
"WHAT?!" All features derailed Shachi, his jaw dropped and his mouth stood wide open. "ARE YOU CRAZY? MORE IMPORTANT, WHY ME? I WOULD BE A TOTALLY UGLY WOMAN!" Screaming loudly, he tried to defend himself and waved his hands about nervously. He didn't want to become a woman. He wanted to lose his innocence as a man.
"Bro, you would be a lot prettier being a woman." In a charming voice, filled with compliments, he tried to turn the tables. "You don't want to have an ugly woman, do you?" He really hoped, Penguin would answer in his favor.
"You wish. It is out of question." Still refusing, Penguin crossed his arms in front of his chest and looked directly at his friend , his face being way back in the shadows, letting it appear dark and cold. Seeing him like that made Shachi shiver in horror.
Sometimes, he got really scared by his comrade, but this time he didn't want to give in so easily. If compliments didn't help, he had to use his secret weapon, whether he wanted to or not. He pulled down his sunglasses a bit, so that his hazel eyes could be seen, placed his hands in front of his chest and looked up to his comrade, with puppy eyes, that should melt one's heart.
"Please, Penguin. Without doubts, you would be a hot woman. Do it for your best friend." Shachi did everything to convince him. He didn't even cared about begging.
"Don't look at me like that." Who could resist this look for a long time? Even Penguin, who normally wasn't that easy to soften up, had a hard time doing so. Everything would be so much easier, if Shachi hadn't some influence on the final decision.
His comrade still looked at him with this cute look on his face. He wouldn't give up this easily. No matter how long it would take, he decided to stay firm. Penguin had to give in at some point, at least that's what he hoped for.
"Agh! It's okay. Now stop looking at me like that. No one bears that for long." At the end, he admitted defeat, even if this meant giving up his masculinity. The only thing, that made his decision a lot easier, was the thought of not having to stay a woman forever. Such a transformation was convertible. The only reason he did it, was for the sake of his best friend, who he saw as a kind of brother.
They knew each other for like almost an eternity, went through all kinds of trouble, resulting in strengthening the bond between them.
"Does that mean, you'll do it?" A pleasant anticipation resonated in Shachi's voice. Yet, he didn't want to show that to his friend, because it was possible for Penguin's answer to be negative.
Only a quiet and strong muttered "Yes" left the lips of his comrade and still, he could hear it loud and clear.
"Woah! How cool is that?" Shachi was acting like a small child, recieving a gift. Being joyfully and excited at the same time, he jumped up and down, until a thought crossed his mind, instantly reducing his joy. "Wait a moment. How shall that even work?" How in the name of their captain should a man become a woman? Did Penguin smoke something or how did he come up with this crazy idea? Normally, his comrade was the smarter one out of them, but now Shachi strongly doubted his intelligence.
With big question marks, painted all over his face, he looked at Penguin. He didn't even seem to be confused in the slightest because of his question. He still appeared very confident, as if he knew exactly, what he was talking about.
"You surely still remember Ivankov, who we got to know after the rescue of the strawhat boy."
Slowly Shachi realized, what his buddy meant.“One of the Okamas?” As an answer he got a simple nod. "And how should he help us?" He didn't know, how an Okama should help them to make Penguin into a woman. Learning things about people, who could somewhat be important later on, wasn't his favorite thing to do.
"I'll tell you." Since Shachi would never understand it by himself, Penguin saved them both the trouble and came straight to the point. "He ate the Horu Horu no Mi. With that, he can inject hormones into the bodies of other people and like this, he's able to change the gender of a person. Which means, a woman can become a man and vice versa." Penguin had made his homework. He knew a lot of important stuff about other pirates, the marines or even the revolutioners.
One could almost hear the clicking sound in Shachi's head, at the time he realized, how Ivankov could help them with Penguin's brilliant plan. A joyful grin spread over his face. He hardly could wait for his comrade to become a woman and he finally having his turn. Besides all that joy, a bad feeling started to creep upon him. There was something that Penguin forgot to consider, which could maybe wreck the whole thing.
"Eh... Penguin", Shachi slowly started to voice his doubts out loud, "how or where do we find Ivankov?"
Suddenly an unpleasant silence emerged out of nowhere. Even the faint sound of the sea could be heard. This small, yet important detail the success of their plan depended on, he hadn't taken into account.
At this very moment, only one thought crossed his mind, he voiced it out loudly.